Let Me Go
by Joanneswift
Summary: One-Shot companion story to Waning Moon. It's set after chapter 15, "Points of View."  This is how Leah's story played out. Now that Leah is freed by Jacob, what will she do now? Does she fix what's broken? I recommend you read Waning Moon before this.


**A/N:** As the description states this is a companion piece set after chap. 15, "Points of View". I originally didn't want to include a chapter about what happens after Leah's freed, I thought maybe it would be too distracting or lead the reader too far away from the main story but I think it works well as a companion piece. I'd like to thank Lovergyul for turning me onto the idea. It's a shame I wasn't able to get this out before the last two chapters were posted because as you know we've advanced the story quite a bit already. Even though I liked the idea of a Leah story, I just couldn't wrap my head around what I wanted it to be about. So since nothing concrete inspired me I went ahead with Waning Moon but I couldn't get Leah's story out of my head. Recently, I hit a road block so I decided to use this time to write Leah's story instead thinking I was only going to write a little bit, and before I knew it I was finished. I'm so glad I tried it. So for all of you who've read the most recent chapters of Waning Moon I'd like to remind you that as you're reading **this** story try to remember _No Time Has Passed yet!_ This is what happens that night after Leah drops Jacob off at the airport. Waning Moon's next chapter is being posted shortly and is separate from this story arc, just so you know.

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><p><strong>Let Me Go<strong>

Driving home Leah had a lot of time to think. She couldn't believe it happened, but it did. Jacob let her go. Her plan worked. _Jacob didn't even put up a fight_, Leah thought. _He could have said no, I mean he kind of did, but he didn't have to cave. I wonder why he did? He had to know he'd be in trouble with Sam. He's leaving for Hawaii so he's safe for now, but he'll be back. I know he's not afraid of Sam but he'll have to explain himself and be made accountable, and knowing that Boyscout he'll take all the blame,_ Leah shook her head. _Well I just won't let him._

She made up her mind then and there to see Sam right away. _I wonder if he knows already? Surely he knows. He must be able to tell something's changed in the group. Can't he? Isn't that how this works,_ she wondered. Fact was, nobody really understood how this all worked, Leah realized. All they had were stories, generations' old stories. Facts can be skewed over time, or forgotten or just simply replaced with something more palatable. _We used to think imprinting was rare and now it seems like almost half the pack's imprinted,_ she thought. _What else can they be wrong about?_

She wasn't the last member to join the pack but she was the most resistant to it. Although she loved the speed and the strength, and the feeling of invincibility, she hated the whole idea of an abject hierarchy that you can never question, and the very idea of a pack mentality seeping into her every thought, governing her every move offended her. She was her own person through-and-through, and didn't like answering to anyone. The restrictions were harder for her than for anyone else.

While she knew she had to talk to Sam right away, there was one person she needed to talk to first. The one person she'd been avoiding, yet this person always understood her the most.

She stopped the car at the gate and got out, her shoes making impressions in the soggy grass. She felt so guilty for staying away for so long when there was so much to say, it almost stopped her from going forward. But fear or no fear she had to do this, it had been too long.

It didn't take long to reach her destination.

"Hi daddy," she said as she looked down.

Harry Clearwater's grave still very new, very neatly kept and free of weeds lay at her feet. The cemetery was small, it probably didn't house even 50 graves and there didn't seem to be much order to it. Families were buried alongside family of course but there were all manner of markers and tributes. Even the graves themselves seemed to be scattered about that wouldn't make sense to an outsider. Many graves looked old, lonely and forgotten making an already sad scene that much sadder. But Harry's grave was immaculate. He lay next to his parents and several other family members; uncles who had been lost to the battlefields of Europe and Vietnam.

Leah sat down on the wet ground and just stared at the bronze marker. Being retired military they provided for his tombstone. Sue felt since he was so proud of serving he would have preferred that to a regular headstone. Leah hadn't seen the new marker before now. She had been here only once since the funeral and couldn't bring herself to get out of the car. Seth and their mom have had to visit Harry alone all those times.

She knew she didn't have to speak but she felt compelled to hear her own voice say it nonetheless. She spoke softly even though she was alone, "Sorry I haven't been around lately, I've been busy."

She knew her dad would have seen right through that and would have wasted no time telling her so.

"Ok. You're right, I haven't been _that_ busy," she swallowed hard. "I just... it's been hard, daddy. I wish you were here," she said lip trembling.

"Well I guess you know how everything's been going, I guess there's no point in even telling you, but... I'm a wolf. _Ta-da,_" and held her arms out like she expected applause. She smiled slightly and shook her head, he appreciated her warped sense of humor, she got it from him after all.

"Seth is too, but I guess he's already told you that by now. I wish you could see us change, you'd get a kick out of that. I wish you could see Seth, man you just wouldn't believe how he's grown. And mom, she's..." she had to look away to compose herself.

"She's okay. I guess we all are. Big news by the way, I've been accepted at Pacific Northwest, it's like we've always talked about! I'm doing it, dad, I'm going to school," she smiled.

"It was pretty hairy there for a min... I mean." Leah broke out in nervous laughter.

"I mean it was pretty _scary_ there for a minute because I didn't think I'd be able to go. It's hard to explain but Sam wasn't liking the idea of me being on my own. I guess he didn't think he could trust me. You know how my temper is, well add a bunch of wolfness to that. _Yyyyeah_."

This made her think of the old cartoons where you just add water to a cube and you get instant monsters. Suddenly feeling guilty, "Yeah maybe it's better that you can't see me after all, I don't think you'd be too happy with me. I haven't done a very good job of taking care of my family. I've been too self-absorbed to help anyone, even myself," she said sniffling. "And then there was the thing about Sam. You never did like him, I could never understand why, but I remember how mad you were when he imprinted. I would have thought you'd be happy about that but you weren't. In fact I don't think I've ever seen you so mad. You looked like you wanted to kill him. But that wasn't his fault, it's nobody's fault when an imprint happens. I've known that all along but it still sucks. Why couldn't it have been me, dad? What's wrong with me?"

She hated feeling sorry for herself. It made her doubt who she was and made her feel weak.

"I feel better at least, better than I have in a long time," she said. "Jacob helped me out, it's a long story but I feel like I can finally think for myself again. My thoughts are my own. I can feel what I'm feeling without fear, I've missed that. Even though nothing's really changed I feel stronger somehow. It's _because_ I feel stronger that I'm here now."

She moved her fingers lovingly over the letters on the tombstone. "I'll be okay, daddy. I'll make sure we're all okay? I promise, I'll make you proud," she said sniffling. She then laid down beside the grave curling her legs up. When she was little she knew all she had to do was crawl into her parents' bed to feel safe. She longed for that now…to hold her dad just one more time. Her loneliness consumed her. Even though it began to mist she didn't move, not until she heard a voice.

"Leah?" Sue said surprised.

Leah moved with a start. If she hadn't been crying so hard she might have heard her mother's car and footsteps.

Sue knew better than to catch one of the pack off guard but when she saw Leah she forgot all of that, which was a mistake. The moment Leah heard her name she jumped up and looked like she was about to explode.

"Leah, wait Leah! It's me!"

Leah's shaking could be seen from 20 feet away. Sue could see Leah breathing extra hard to control it, shaking her head vigorously. She was just on the verge of changing when she heard her mom scream, "Leah, calm down it's okay!"

The shock of hearing her mom scream helped her to bring herself forward and push the wolf back. Leah's breathing came under control as she blinked her eyes several times. She made it go away. She couldn't believe it. Normally this would have been enough to lose control of it. _So this is what control feels like_, she thought marveling.

"Are you okay now?" Sue asked.

Leah nodded, still breathing hard, "Yeah, you were lucky."

Sue disagreed. "I don't think so, you've been changing less and less this last month. In fact I can't remember the last time you changed. Sorry I scared you, I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that, I was just so surprised to see you. I didn't think you'd be back so soon; in fact, I thought you were going to patrol with Seth after you dropped Jacob's car off."

"I was, I mean I will, I just needed..." and looked down at her dad's grave.

Sue who had been holding some wildflowers then casually but alertly walked up to the grave and replaced the dead flowers with the new ones.

She knelt down beside the grave for a minute, lightly placed her hand on the fresh grass that covered the mound of dirt and then stood up.

Sue and Leah haven't spoken to each other much lately. Neither knew what to say. Although Sue was in rain gear, holding an umbrella she was getting drenched.

"Why don't you go back in the car where it's warm," Leah said.

"I'm fine," Sue said, gathering her jacket closer to stay warm.

"Well I guess I'll go run some errands and help Seth then. I'll see you," Leah turned to leave.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes."

"You seem different."

Sue could plainly see that Leah had been crying and finding her in the position she did made her worry.

"I'm surprised to see _you_ here is all," Leah said. "I thought you didn't like to come out here when it was raining."

"Yeah well, if I chose to only come when the weather was nice I'd never get out," Sue chuckled.

Leah just nodded.

Sue decided to seize the moment, "Leah, I think we should talk," she then glanced back at Harry's grave. "We haven't really talked much since your daddy died."

Leah looked at her oddly, "So you want to do it now?"

"Well not 'here' right now, but yes. I don't know when I'll see you again. There's only so much time left until you leave for school. You are still going aren't you?"

"Yes, most definitely."

"But I thought Sam wasn't..."

"It's not up to Sam, it never was. I took care of it."

"Okay." Sue wasn't really happy with that answer but Leah clearly didn't want to talk about it. "Well I'm glad, for you I mean. I think it's the best thing. I know it's been hard for you with everything that's happened, and now with daddy gone..."

Leah jumped in, "It hasn't been any harder for me than for you or Seth."

"Well yes I think it probably has. Everything seemed to happen all at once, there was no time to deal with any of it and _I_ was so out of it. Then the change happened to you both, I didn't know what I was doing. Raising two kids alone has been, exhausting," Sue admitted.

"Mom, it's fine, okay. You were in mourning, you were scared. I get that."

"So were you."

Leah teared up and looked away. "Don't worry about me, mom. I'm dealing. It's easier, some. You did great. You did what you could."

Sue wiped at her face that had become splattered with rain and mist. She saw this as an opportunity. "I'm going back to the house while there's still road left to drive. I'm free now if you want to talk," Sue replied.

Leah scowled, "I don't suppose there's any way of getting out of this?"

"Doesn't look like it."

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><p>Leah followed Sue home. Leah was overdue to patrol with Seth but she asked Embry to fill in for her. Leah and Sue sat down in the living room and finally had the talk they should have had months ago. Leah finally got it out of her system about how she felt about being a bridesmaid, about Sam, and being a wolf, but talking about her dad was the hardest for her. She and Sue finally decided that being a wolf was the thing that was holding her back. Not just corporeally but emotionally too. She noticed the less she was a wolf, the more she felt like herself again. Though the pack knew how as a wolf all human feelings were dulled and subdued; what isn't talked about is how your maturity is dulled too.<p>

After talking about all of her possibilities and options, Leah made a decision to give up the wolf for good. It surprised her how she felt about it, sad ironically, but she knew it was for the best. It would be a hardship for Leah; the temptation to change would be great, especially when under pressure. In a way, she will miss the wolf and all the powers that came with it but she was glad to be moving on. Sue was fine with Leah's decision and supported it. She would rather have her daughter back.

"So are you going to go relieve Embry?" Sue asked while sipping her coffee.

"Nah, I've covered for him lotsa times when he wanted to chase chicks, he owes me one. Besides, I still have one more stop to make tonight."

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><p>After dropping Jacob's car off at Billy's house Leah walked over to Sam's. The rain had stopped by this time making the partly covered gravel roads mushy. She was a little over 50 feet away from the house when she stopped suddenly. Although the wind died down, the smell was powerful... <em>Sam's scent<em>...the area of course would normally be saturated with it, but the rain washed much of it away. This scent however was fresh and emanating from the house. _He's here. This is it,_ Leah thought. Leah suddenly felt her heart speed up with anticipation. She began to move forward slowly but confidently. Not being a member of his pack anymore he might see her as a threat. Sam _could_ attack her. She had no idea how he was going to take the news of being freed by Jacob. No matter what their history, Leah could be viewed as _dangerous_. She had no idea what was going to happen next.

She continued to move at a steady pace. The phrase "be ready" kept repeating itself in her mind with each step. She fought with her breathing to keep it steady.

She was just under 30 feet from the house now when suddenly the front door opened making Leah stop. All she saw was his arm holding the front door ajar, but his attention seemed to be inside still. Leah's hands began to tremble with adrenaline. She focused her eyes to watch for any signs of trouble. Then she heard whispering from the house. She then focused in on what they were saying.

"_I need to go, Em, I have to find out_," Sam said.

"_Sam, please. Just let it go. You can still walk away from this_," Emily said.

"_Em, she's gone too far this time_."

"_You're going to hurt her I just know it, and if you do I'll never forgive you! Did you hear me, Sam? Never. She's been through enough_."

He then kissed her on the forehead and looked into her eyes while his hand caressed her scarred cheek.

"_I won't hurt her, Em, I promise_." The guilt growing in his eyes was hard for Emily to watch. She hugged him one more time as he headed out the door.

Leah readied herself.

Sam appeared in the doorway, it never failed to impress her how he seemed to fill up every doorway. He moved cautiously towards her, strolling up to where she now stood stopping just 10 feet away from her. He wore a crisp dark red dress shirt with an open collar and black pants. He looked so handsome Leah felt distracted for a moment having forgotten what Sam looked like in something other than torn up clothes. She snapped herself out of it. She would need to keep herself focused if she was going to get through this.

Sam folded his arms and stared at her stone-faced, "Leah, why are you here?"

"Hello to you too, Sam."

"Don't get cute," not appreciating her humor.

"Why, what ever could you mean?" she asked playfully.

"Leah," he said through clinched teeth.

"Oh, you mean the going-above-your-head part, _ok_. Why, is something wrong?" she asked innocently. It was dangerous but she couldn't help antagonize him.

"Don't give me that. How could you do that? You've completely cut my feet out from under me!"

"Oh dear sweet Sam...You're lucky that's all I cut out." Her venom was quick.

That was it. Sam had been holding back all of his disappointment, and all of the anger he had felt since he first learned of Leah's treason but he couldn't hold back anymore. The moment he felt a disconnect from her it didn't take him long to figure it out. He knew nothing bad happened to her, she can take care of herself. And he also knew she drove Jacob to the airport, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what she did. He knew the instant it happened; Jacob executed his Alpha power; without telling him or the counsel.

Did this mean he was no longer alpha, he wondered. No, he felt sure nothing had changed there, but her actions made him look like a fool. He felt sure people would think that if he can't control even one wolf, how can he be expected to keep the rest in line? _The others may decide to doubt me too, _he thought_. So what does this mean?__ It means Leah IS out of control, and now that I have no hold over her she'__s even more unpredictable and dangerous. Will she fight? The only reason for her to come here would be to fight. She's wanted to hurt me for a long time, and the quickest harshest way she could hurt me would be to hurt Em. That would kill me. I wouldn't be responsible for my actions after that. She wouldn't do that would she? I just don't know anymore. I won't let her hurt Em or anyone else. If she wants a fight, she's got one_.

A deep guttural growl was heard rumbling in Sam's chest. This was usually about the time that Leah and the others would cower down or at the very least look away in submission, but not anymore. Leah didn't move an inch, she didn't flinch and she didn't look away. She continued to stare into his gaze, an action she could never have done for any amount of time before.

Standing way too confident, way too close for her own good, Sam's hands and arms shook violently. The clinching of his jaw muscles let her know she had but a few eternal seconds left before he phased, plenty of time for a wolf to run. But she had no intentions of running, and Sam knew it. He could smell it.

In a fit of blind rage for Leah's insolence and rebellion, Sam knew he couldn't keep his promise to Emily. Leah no longer having the protection of the pack gave him the right to deal with her as he saw fit.

Then the unthinkable happened. Emily appeared, and before either Sam or Leah could react Emily put herself right in between them holding her hands up as though to hold them back.

"Stop it! Both of you!" she screamed.

Leah couldn't help but see how ridiculous she looked. Emily, small and meek, standing between them as if there was anything she could do to stop it. But there she was. Emily of all people, knew how dangerous it was to be around angry wolves, and yet here she was in the line of fire x 2.

Seeing his bride in danger, Sam screamed in what looked to be incredible pain. He balled his hands into fists before hunching over, as if he'd been shot, and grabbed his knees in support. His breathing was tortuous and exaggerated. Leah had never seen him like this, nor had Emily. They both froze watching for Sam's reaction. He was making himself stop the change. It was the furthest he had ever changed without completing the transformation, and beyond a certain point it was excruciating beyond words requiring incredible strength. Leah wasn't sure how to feel about it. Some part of her wanted to hurt him. _She_ wanted to be the one to hurt him, in battle. Not like this, watching him writhe as if he was being burned out from the inside is not what she wanted at all. It gave her no pleasure to see him like this.

"Emily, are you insane?" Leah growled.

"Emily, get back in the house!" Sam grunted through clinched teeth.

"If you want to tear each other apart, you start with me first," holding her ground.

Leah looked at her in shock.

"I'm serious," Emily said breathing hard. "It's tearing me apart as it is, seeing you both this way." She looked straight into Leah's eyes as she said this, "Don't you know that?"

Leah tried to look away but she couldn't. Sam looked at Emily, then stole a glance at Leah who continued to stare at her cousin. He watched Leah for even the slightest hint of aggression. But Emily being so close to both of them he wasn't sure he could get to her in time. He had never felt so much fear in his life. The life he held more dear than his own was in mortal danger, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He wanted desperately to explode. All Leah had to do was say the wrong thing, that's it. He waited for her to speak.

But Leah didn't speak. She was speechless.

Leah and Emily continued to lock eyes.

Finally, Leah tore her eyes away from Emily to glance at Sam who looked like he was about to pounce on her. Keeping a wary eye on him now, she said, "Do what Sam says, Em."

"No! It ends here," putting her hands down by her side, "one way or the other."

Leah and Sam yelled in unison, "EM!"

"No," she said in a whisper visibly shaking. Her head swiveled back and forth talking to both, "I mean what I say. I'm tired of the fighting, the backbiting, the anger, the guilt. I'm sick of it! If you love me, if either of you ever loved me, you'll end this. _Or end me_, because I won't live like this anymore."

Emily had been pushed to her limit. They all stood there motionless.

Leah had known Emily long enough and well enough to know when she was bluffing and when she wasn't. In fact, Leah was the one who taught Emily how to bluff in poker. She knew right now Emily was 100% serious.

_This didn't go the way I planned_, Leah thought.

Leah's shaking stopped and so did Sam's. Sam straightened up and they all continued to look back and forth at each other.

"I guess mom's right," Leah said to Emily. "You do have the makings of an elder. Emily, the peacemaker."

Sam's eyes looked at Emily adoringly. "There's more than one kind of strength, Leah," he said. "And I used to think the wolves were the strong ones."

Emily stood proudly between them.

"So what now?" Leah looked at Sam. "You obviously know everything that happened with Jacob."

"Well not everything," Sam asked. "Why Leah?"

"Because I have to get out of here. I hate this Sam, I hate being your subordinate, I hate this animal that's inside of me, I hate my life. You tell me, Sam…is that normal? Is that good? Am I even 1/10th the person I used to be? I know your reasons for keeping me behind…"

"You should," Sam interrupted. "Your attitude, your surliness, all the inappropriate things you've been saying. You're unpredictable, Leah. That makes you dangerous; to yourself and to everyone around you, including the pack. Tell me I'm wrong."

Leah trusted herself enough that she felt ready to be on her own, but how could Sam of all people know she was ready? Looking at Emily's face was reason enough to take Sam's concerns to heart. Was she really ready to take on whatever life had in store for her? She felt she was. All that was left to do now was to convince Sam of this.

"I realize I've been..." she searched for a word, "_difficult_. But look what just happened. I didn't change. I've fulfilled my obligation to you, to my family and my tribe. I've done everything that's been asked of me and more. I'm ready, I feel it. I know I can do this, Sam."

There was a familiarity in her voice that Sam recognized, something faint. Something like a memory of a dream or a dream of a memory, and for the briefest instant he was reminded of what it was like when they were a couple. Something about this new Leah reminded him of the old one, and it was nice.

"You'll have to give up phasing for me to know you're serious," he contended.

"I will," she said hopeful.

"I'm serious Leah."

"I know, I am too."

"Not that you need my approval anymore but, ok. Maybe I've been a little…_overprotective._" Sam grumbled.

"Maybe. Probably. Understandably," Leah conceded.

The faintest hint of a smile broke through on Sam's face. All edginess was gone. Emily walked the step or two that separated them and hugged him and he grabbed her like a man reaching for a life preserver.

"Just so you know it's not Jacob's fault. I begged him, I guilted him actually," Leah chuckled.

"I figured as much. He's still got some explaining to do but it'll wait."

"So I take it you're not going to kill me for getting him to help me?" Leah asked.

"Not today. And I can't discipline you either. So what are we to do with you?"

Leah looked away for a moment searching for an answer, then looked straight at him when she found it, "You can let me go."

He looked confused.

"I mean, let me go in peace. I need time, Sam. I need a complete break from you, the pack, all of it. It's what I want."

He cocked his head to the side and said, _"_It sounds like you're _breaking up with me_," he said amused. He seemed to understand what she needed after all.

Leah smiled, "I... guess I am," and chuckled as she looked around in bemused wonder.

Going along with this weird turn of events, Sam said, "Okay then."

Finally getting the answer she wanted, Leah thought she'd better get while the getting was good.

"I'd better go, guys."

She was about to turn to leave when Emily cried, "Leah."

Leah turned back to look at her.

"Have fun at school."

Leah smiled, "Thanks. Have fun on your night out."

Emily looked confused now.

"That's your favorite black purse isn't it," Leah said pointing to Emily's bag. She nodded yes.

"You only use that one for special occasions or when you've got a date."

Emily was touched that Leah would remember such a thing from the old days. Leah really did know her cousin well.

"You're right, and thank you," Emily smiled.

Leah nodded at Emily and then at Sam, and before anyone could say anything else Leah turned around and ran down the road becoming a blur as she slipped off into the dark veil of night.

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><p>Leah got within a mile of her house and walked the rest of the way. <em>What a day<em>, she thought, as she ambled onto the porch and into the house. She went into the living room and collapsed into the recliner.

"How'd it go," Sue asked looking up from her crossword puzzle.

Leah shrugged her shoulders, "Ok I think. No, it went good. Yeah." Leah looked like she was a million miles away.

"So what do you want to do now?" Sue asked.

"Pack. I've got a lot of packing to do," and smiled.

Sue smiled back and walked over to hug and kiss her baby girl on the forehead.

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><p><strong>AN:** Does Leah live happily ever after? Well, I like to think so. I've done all I'm going to do with Leah's story (for now), but I hope I've pointed her in the right direction, one which all the Leah Lovers can live with. ***I'd like to thank Jakejunkie for looking this over for me as a pre-reader. She really helped me shape it up.*** Even though Leah's tough, I envision her as being just an ordinary girl with extraordinary abilities who was put into situations beyond her control. She's not an uber bitch but she's been a bitch to people who love her. That doesn't make her a bad person, she just didn't handle things well - with everything that happened who can blame her? I also didn't want her to hate Sam forever for something that was beyond _his_ control. ***It's not fair and it's not right to blame him for something he never had a choice in either.*** I originally had them come to blows but after reading it I felt drained, and although I had them part ways in a better place than what they started, it was still extremely negative and hard to believe they could make a 180 so fast, so easy. There was no fight because in all honesty, nothing good could come from it. Being bitter and hurtful is not really her nature - or his. I just wanted her to move on and realize she doesn't have to keep that bitter taste in her mouth, not when she could just spit it out. Regurgitate it like it's a sickness and feel better afterwards. She thought hurting Sam would make her feel better but it didn't. It's not who she is and she remembers that. Emily and Leah's friendship, however, will take longer to repair but I feel with enough time and distance, (maybe some time in the future) they can be _friendly_ again. It might take years but who knows. Family's cool like that. Leah will make an appearance or two, again, in Waning Moon in case you were wondering but it won't be any time soon as I'm going to concentrate fully on Bella and Jacob now. I hope you enjoyed Leah's story and hope it gives you Leah Lovers a little more peace of mind, because after all, Leah's the kind of girl that lands on her feet, _all of them_.

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><p>***<em>Disclaimer: The characters setting and familiar situations belong to Stephenie Meyers. References to films or music also do no belong to me. No copyright infringement intended. I'm not making any monetary profit from this.***<em>

_V_isit my Facebook page and "Like" or just say hi at www.(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Joanne-Swift/148134398561300?v=wall&ref=sgm!… __


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